in a world where betty crocker is the cruel overlord, one man must stand alone against her evil reign.
john egbert, a brave young soul, farms until he can farm no more, creating products that have no connection with the witch hypnotizing her people through horrible fluffy baked goods.
FUCK YOU JOHN, IT’S TOO HARD, JUST GO BUY FOOD.
[ok i’m getting back to asks now, promise.]
FUCK THIS EARTH KISS DAY. IT IS A STUPID MADE UP HOLIDAY THAT BREAKS ALL THE RULES AND MAKES A MESS OF EVERYTHING.
OH FUCK, GUYS.
I’LL NEVER FIGURE OUT WHO SENT ME THIS ONE. MIGHT AS WELL GIVE UP NOW.
ROUND TWO ==>
YOU VAGUELY REMEMBER A TIME WHEN YOU SAID YOU WOULD STOP LISTENING TO THE ANONYMOUS VOICES IN YOUR HEAD.
YOUR FRIENDS ARE STARTING TO WORRY ABOUT YOU.
I NEED TO STOP TALKING TO HUMANS. THIS IS SO STUPID.
AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT THAT.
EITHER RESULT ENDS UP IN ME MORE PISSED OFF THAN I WAS AT THE START.
THE LAST OPTION YOU GAVE ME NEVER FUCKING HAPPENS. THAT IS JUST NOT EVEN A THING TO BE CONSIDERED.